F1 LOSERS LEAGUE

RACE RESULT: BRAZIL

2011-12-09T22:28:00.001Z

Second-placed League contestant FAST AS CUSTARD roared to top spot in Brazil, while League leader TEAM LEVIATHON limped home in 18th place.

All remaining Booster Buttons were activated in Brazil, so all points were doubled for those who hadn't yet played their final Booster. In Brazil, Timo Glock and Virgin Racing yet again scooped the dubious Loser honours as the 2011 season draws to a close.

All the points follow. See how this has affected the standings here.

Brazil: race result

Glock, Timo	Virgin	25	Wheel
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	18	Spin
Hamilton, Lewis	McLaren	15	Gearbox
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	12	Alternator
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	10	Fin. 3 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jaime	Virgin	8	Fin. 3 laps down
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus	6	Fin. 2 laps down
Senna, Bruno	Renault	4	Fin. 2 laps down
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus	2	Fin. 2 laps down
Schumacher, Michael	Mercedes	1	Fin. 1 lap down

Brazil: F1 Losers Points

1st	FAST AS CUSTARD	158	BB
2nd	DNF	138	BB
3rd	TRABANT-COSWORTH	136	BB
4th	VROOM DOOM	134	BB
5th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	132	BB
6th	TEAM SAUCE	132	BB
6th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	132	BB
8th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	130	BB
9th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	126	BB
10th	F -1	108	BB
11th	TRULLI PANTS	108	BB
11th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	108	BB
11th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	108	BB
14th	FISHERS R GO	104	BB
15th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	102	BB
15th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	98	BB
17th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	96	BB
18th	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	94	BB
18th	TEAM LEVIATHON	83
20th	ALL 4COFFEE	74	BB
21st	TEAM FAILSCADE	64	BB
22nd	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	56	BB

BB = played Booster Button

RACE RESULT: UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

2011-12-09T22:14:00.001Z

Sebastian Vettel's mysterious tyre failure in Abu Dhabi means he scored 25 points and is no longer the unLoserest driver in the 2011 championship.

It does mean that the lucky Red Bullster tops the Losers points in the debut race in the United Arab Emirates. Losers team HONEY ROASTED NUTS would have come off best as a result, but League leader TEAM LEVIATHON played their Booster Button and romped home.

All the points follow. See how this has affected the standings here.

United Arab Emirates: race result

Vettel, Sebastian	Red Bull	25	Puncture
d'Ambrosio, Jaime	Virgin	18	Brakes
Buemi, Sebastien	Toro Rosso	15	Hydraulics
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	12	Electrics
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	10	Fin. 2 laps down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	8	Fin. 2 laps down
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus	6	Fin. 2 laps down
Kovalainan, Heikki	Lotus	4	Fin. 1 lap down
Senna, Bruno	Renault	2	Fin. 1 lap down
Alguersuari, Jaime	Toro Rosso	1	Fin. 1 lap down

United Arab Emirates: F1 Losers Points

1st	TEAM LEVIATHON	98	BB
2nd	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	65
3rd	TEAM FAILSCADE	55
4th	ALL 4COFFEE	51
5th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	46
6th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	40
6th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	40
8th	F -1	36
9th	TRULLI PANTS	36
10th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	36
11th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	34
11th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	34
11th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	34
14th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	34
15th	FISHERS R GO	33
15th	DNF	32
17th	VROOM DOOM	32
18th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	30
18th	TEAM SAUCE	30
20th	FAST AS CUSTARD	28
21st	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	11
22nd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	10

BB = played Booster Button

RACE RESULT: INDIA

2011-11-09T07:17:00.000Z

9/10THS FULL OF BOLTS scored an incredible 78 points and scooped an Instant Cash Bribe (about a fiver) in India.

His team players Hispania,Massa, Maldonado, Kobayashi, and Glock scored heavily in the inaugural Indian race, noted this year for donkeys, cows, dust and continual moaning from Mark Webber.

All the points follow. See how this has affected the standings here.

India: race result

Kobayashi, Kamui	Sauber	25	Accident
Glock, Timo	Virgin	18	Accident
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	15	Gearbox
Buemi, Sebastien	Toro Rosso	12	Technical fault
Massa, Felipe	Ferrari	10	Suspension
Trulli, Timo	Lotus	8	Fin. 5 laps down
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	6	Fin. 3 laps down
Karthikeyan, Narain	Hispania	4	Fin. 3 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jaime	Virgin	2	Fin. 3 laps down
Barrichello, Rubens	Williams	1	Fin. 2 laps down

India: F1 Losers Points

ICB - Instant Cash Bribe winner (about £5)

1st	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	78	ICB
2nd	DNF	68
3rd	TEAM LEVIATHON	59
4th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	57
5th	VROOM DOOM	54
6th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	53
6th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	53
8th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	52
9th	FAST AS CUSTARD	49
10th	TEAM SAUCE	43
11th	FISHERS R GO	41
11th	F -1	41
11th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	41
14th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	37
15th	TEAM FAILSCADE	34
15th	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	34
17th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	33
18th	TRULLI PANTS	31
18th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	31
20th	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	29
21st	ALL 4COFFEE	28
22nd	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	14

ROWAN ATKINSON AT THE INDIAN GP

2011-10-30T16:11:00.000Z

RACE RESULT: KOREA

2011-10-23T18:28:00.000+01:00

Schumacher and Petrov's smash-up gave both drivers - and Mercedes - their highest scoring race of the year.

It also means TEAM FAILSCADE score their highest (non-boosted) haul of the year thanks not only to having Schumacher and Mercedes in their team, but also because Hispania also scored well for them.

The Losers team that scores the most (non-boosted etc) points in India, the next race will win an Instant Cash Bribe of 5% of the prize fund (about a fiver).

All the points follow. See how this has affected the standings here.

Korea: race result

Schumacher, Michael	Mercedes	25	Accident4
Petrov, Vitaly	Renault	18	Accident4
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	15	Engine
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	12	Fin. 3 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jaime	Virgin	10	Fin. 1 lap down
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	8	Fin. 1 lap down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	6	Fin. 1 lap down
Trulli, Timo	Lotus	4	Fin. 1 lap down
Perez, Sergio	Sauber	2	Fin. 1 lap down
Kobayashi, Kamui	Sauber	1	Fin. 1 lap down

Korea: F1 Losers Points

1st	TEAM FAILSCADE	80
2nd	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	77
3rd	ALL 4COFFEE	71
3rd	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	71
5th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	70
6th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	67
7th	TEAM SAUCE	66
8th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	64
9th	F -1	63
9th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	63
11th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	62
12th	TRULLI PANTS	61
12th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	61
14th	DNF	60
15th	TEAM LEVIATHON	58
15th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	58
15th	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	58
18th	FAST AS CUSTARD	56
18th	VROOM DOOM	48
20th	FISHERS R GO	47
21st	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	43
22nd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	41

RACE RESULT: JAPAN

2011-10-23T18:01:00.000+01:00

In a dull procession typical of Japan, League leader TEAM LEVIATHON strolled to the finish line at the Suzuka circuit.

Many of the usual F1 suspects scored points in a predictable race, with the only real drama coming from Buemi losing a wheel. Actually, that's not true, it was a great race, but Japan's meant to be a procession so a procession it is la la la la not listening.

Oh and apparently someone won a championship. German guy. Nice smile.

All the points follow. See how this has affected the standings here.

Japan: race result

Buemi, Sebastien	Toro Rosso	25	Wheel
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	18	Fin. 3 laps down
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	15	Fin. 2 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	12	Fin. 2 laps down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	10	Fin. 2 laps down
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus	8	Fin. 0 laps down
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus	6	Fin. 0 laps down
Barrichello, Rubens	Williams	4	Fin. 0 laps down
Senna, Bruno	Renault	2	Fin. 0 laps down
Alguersuari, Jaime	Toro Rosso	1	Fin. 0 laps dow

Japan: F1 Losers Points

1st	TEAM LEVIATHON	77
2nd	ALL 4COFFEE	75
3rd	TEAM FAILSCADE	70
4th	FISHERS R GO	60
5th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	56
6th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	53
7th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	52
8th	VROOM DOOM	51
9th	F -1	50
9th	TRULLI PANTS	50
9th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	50
12th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	49
12th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	49
14th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	48
15th	FAST AS CUSTARD	45
15th	DNF	45
15th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	45
18th	TEAM SAUCE	43
18th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	43
20th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	36
21st	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	19
22nd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	16

UPDATES ARRIVING TOMORROW

2011-10-22T12:50:00.001+01:00

Oh dear. This blog is updating slower than a Minardi at the 2005 US grand prix.

Deadlines and illness have somewhat taken the racing line, hence the couple of weeks in the gravel.

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow. A massive apology to all F1 Losers who have been waiting for an update on the last couple of races.

USUAL LEAGUE DELAY, THIS TIME DUE TO ILLNESS AND OVER-ABUNDANCE OF LOCKET-INDUCED JON SOPEL BUFFALO BAKERY FANTASIES

2011-10-14T12:51:00.000+01:00

THIS IS A MUSIC VIDEO FROM SQUIRE... A.K.A.TORO ROSSO'S JAIME ALGUERSUARI

2011-10-02T15:06:00.002+01:00

THE SUZZZZZUKA PUNT

2011-10-01T21:59:00.000+01:00

The set-up: Japan is a procession. The pole-sitter has won the last two Japanese snoozathons.

The punt: The driver that starts the 2011 Japanese race in pole position does not make it to the podium.

The stake: 30 points, to be taken from your score at the next race.

The odds: 5 to 1, to be given back along with your stake.

Play this punt: Send an email to league (at) f1losers.co.uk titled THE SUZZZZZUKA PUNT with your team name. Once played, you cannot undo it. The Punt must be played before the start of the first qualifying session in Japan.

Played by: No-one yet.

RACE RESULT: SINGAPORE

2011-09-30T20:38:00.000+01:00

Click for bigger

As Vettel runs away with the real-world championship, the League witnessed perfect night-time storm of disaster from Mercedes, Hispania and the hapless Timo Glock - which helped TEAM SAUCE and 9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS zing in Singapore.

All teams had their Booster Buttons played, apart from three teams who had played them in earlier races. It means a big shake-up in the leaderboard, with the above two teams moving up the standings along with FISHERS R GO, TEAM YOGIC FLYERS and VROOM DOOM.

All Booster Buttons are re-set and can be played by any team at any race. Send an email headed Booster Button with your team name to League at f1losers.co.uk and we will double your points at the next race.

Meanwhile, back in Singapore, Michael Schumacher scored his highest result of the season after sending his car airborne by driving badly. Timo Glock equalled his worst score and Virgin had tyre struggles: both had their biggest score since Turkey.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

Singapore: race result

Glock, Timo	Virgin	25	Accident
Schumacher, Michael	Mercedes	18	Accident
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus	15	Gearbox
Alguersuari, Jaime	Toro Rosso	12	Accident
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	10	Fin. 4 laps down
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	8	Fin. 4 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	6	Fin. 2 laps down
Petrov, Vitaly	Renault	4	Fin. 2 laps down
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus	2	Fin. 2 laps down
Senna, Bruno	Renault	1	Fin. 2 laps down

Singapore: F1 Losers Points
BB = Booster Button played

1st	TEAM SAUCE	122	BB
1st	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	122	BB
2nd	TEAM FAILSCADE	120	BB
4th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	102	BB
5th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	96	BB
6th	DNF	88	BB
7th	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	88	BB
7th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	84	BB
9th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	84	BB
9th	FISHERS R GO	80	BB
11th	FAST AS CUSTARD	74	BB
12th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	62	BB
13th	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	60	BB
13th	VROOM DOOM	56	BB
15th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	56	BB
16th	TRULLI PANTS	54	BB
16th	TEAM LEVIATHON	52	BB
18th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	52	BB
19th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	48	BB
19th	ALL 4COFFEE	45
19th	F -1	31
22nd	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	26

FOOL TANKS: ALONSO, BARRICHELLO, BUTTON, SCHUMACHER, FERRARI

2011-09-21T13:47:00.000+01:00

Time for some Fool Tank filling. This is where drivers and constructors earn extra points if their tank of stupidity overflows.

No overflows this time, but some are getting close...

Remember, Fool Tanks don't convert into valuable Losers points until they overflow. See how that works here. See all Fool Tanks here.

DRIVER: ALONSO

Aonso concedes the title fight. "We are fighting for second place in the championship," he says.
Tank filled up by 20%.
Tank total now 60%.

DRIVER: BARRICHELLO
Barrichello's career is on the skids: it seems Williams may not re-sign him.
Tank filled up by 40%.
Tank total now 40%.

DRIVER: BUTTON

Button concedes the title fight. He said: "There's no chance."
Tank filled up by 20%.
Tank total now 60%.

DRIVER: BUTTON

Button blames himself for ruining his Belgian grand prix.
Tank filled up by 20%.
Tank total now 80%.

DRIVER: SCHUMACHER

Schumacher slammed for ruthless tactics in Italy.
Tank filled up by 20%.
Tank total now 20%.

CONSTRUCTOR: FERRARI

Ferrari have stopped development of their car, effectively ending their 2011 campaign.
Tank filled up by 40%.
Tank total now 60%.

Fool Tank points do not count towards Booster Button multiplications nor Instant Cash Bribe wins.

RACE RESULT: ITALY

2011-09-16T00:26:00.002+01:00

TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY topped the Italian points after Vitantonio Liuzzi caused a massive crash at turn one.

The other two retirees in Liuzzi's kamakaze attack haven't appeared on the League's radar much... until now. The carnage means Nico Rosberg and Vitaly Petrov score their biggest single points haul of the season. Liuzzi's team Hispania are back to their losing ways, scoring 27 points - their biggest score for five races.

ALL4COFFEE, TEAM YOGIC FLYERS and JOBJOHN'S JOBIES all move up a bit on the leaderboard, while a Booster Button played by GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO didn't count for much.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

Italy: race result

Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	25	Accident
Rosberg, Nico	Mercedes	18	Accident
Petrov, Vitaly	Renault	15	Accident
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	12	Gearbox
Webber, Mark	Red Bull	10	Accident
Sutil, Adrian	Force India	8	Steering
Kobayashi, Kamui	Sauber	6	Gearbox
Perez, Sergio	Sauber	4	Gearbox
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	2	Fin. 14 laps down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	1	Fin. 2 laps down

Italy: F1 Losers points

1st	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	71
2nd	VROOM DOOM	68
2nd	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	68
4th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	63
5th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	60
6th	DNF	59
7th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	58	Booster
8th	TEAM FAILSCADE	57
9th	ALL 4COFFEE	54
9th	TRULLI PANTS	54
11th	FISHERS R GO	52
11th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	52
13th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	51
14th	F -1	48
14th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	48
16th	TEAM SAUCE	46
17th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	44
18th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	43
19th	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	38
20th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	37
21st	FAST AS CUSTARD	31
22nd	TEAM LEVIATHON	29

RACE RESULT: BELGIUM

2011-09-02T20:43:00.000+01:00

Although no teams chose Toro Rosso for this year's League, the bullish losers have just scored their highest number of Points so far for a single race (37 pts).

Both cars were taken out in accidents, and it's Sebastien Buemi's retirement that helped DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL almost score the most points at Spa (58 pts). That Losers team was only eclipsed by F-1 playing their Booster Button and topping the rankings with 84 points.

That does mean DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL win an Instant Cash Bribe. In four designated races in 2011, the team that scores the most points (without the help of artificial aids such as Booster Buttons) gets 5% of the prize fund. That's about a fiver. Woo!

The next Instant Cash Bribe race is in India, as indicated by the season calendar.

ALL 4COFFEE, DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL, TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY and VROOM DOOM all move up in the standings. Meanwhile, a number of Pitlane Punts expired in Belgium (if you had played the You Must Be Woking Punt, you would have earned 140 points). There will be new Punts coming soon.

Numerous teams opted to take part in Shakedown, in which good drivers are dumped for bad ones. All changes have been added to the team profiles page.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

Belgium: race result

Alguersuari, Jaime	Toro Rosso	25	Accident
Buemi, Sebastien	Toro Rosso	18	Accident
Hamilton, Lewis	McLaren	15	Accident
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	12	Mechanical failure
Perez, Sergio	Sauber	10	Rear axle failure
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	8	Fin. 1 lap down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	6	Fin. 1 lap down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	4	Fin. 1 lap down
Barrichello, Rubens	Williams	2	Fin. 1 lap down
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus Renault	1	Fin. 1 lap down

Belgium: F1 Losers points

1st	F -1	84	Booster
2nd	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	58
3rd	FISHERS R GO	57
4th	ALL 4COFFEE	50
5th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	46
6th	TEAM LEVIATHON	44
6th	FAST AS CUSTARD	44
8th	VROOM DOOM	43
9th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	42
9th	TEAM FAILSCADE	42
11th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	36
12th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	34
13th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	32
13th	TRULLI PANTS	32
15th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	26
15th	DNF	26
15th	TEAM SAUCE	26
15th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	26
15th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	26
20th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	24
20th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	24
22nd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	18

DEADLINE APPROACHING.... DITCH YOUR DRIVERS NOW!

2011-08-28T13:22:00.002+01:00

Edit: too late. The Shakedown season is now closed.

Very few Losers teams have opted to ditch two of their drivers for a pair of more loserly drivers.

You have until the end of August and no later. If you think your drivers could be earning more points, then go to it.

If you don't make the switch, you keep the same team! See here for more.

MOTORMOUTH: NO FRIEND OF ELECTRIC

2011-08-08T19:38:00.000+01:00

BERNIE ECCLESTONE

"Formula One is absolutely not the right place to have electric engines. It’s like having ballet dancers with sneakers."

FOOL TANKS: BUTTON, DI RESTA, HEIDFELD, TRULLI, WEBBER, MCLAREN, RED BULL AND WILLIAMS

2011-08-06T20:04:00.002+01:00

McLaren and Williams are about to tip. Their Fool Tanks have both reached 80% in the latest update from the F1 Losers League's equivalent of Heat magazine's 'circle of shame'.

(Do they still do that?) Anyhoo, read on...

Remember, Fool Tanks don't convert into valuable Losers points until they overflow. See how that works here. See all Fool Tanks here.

BUTTON'S LIFE THREATENING INJURIES (NOT)
DRIVER: BUTTON FILLED UP BY +20%
BUTTON FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 40%

DI RESTA, HEIDFELD AND THEIR POST-GERMANY GRIPING
DRIVER: DI RESTA FILLED UP BY +20%
DI RESTA FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 20%

HEIDFELD, DI RESTA AND THEIR POST-GERMANY GRIPING
DRIVER: HEIDFELD FILLED UP BY +20%
HEIDFELD FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 20%

MCLAREN'S PUBLIC SPAT WITH RED BULL ABOUT EXHAUSTS
CONSTRUCTOR: MCLAREN FILLED UP BY +20%
MCLAREN FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 80%

RED BULL'S PUBLIC SPAT WITH MCLAREN ABOUT EXHAUSTS
CONSTRUCTOR: RED BULL FILLED UP BY +20%
RED BULL FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 20%

TRULLI REPLACED BY KARUN CHANDOCK FOR ONE RACE
DRIVER: TRULLI/CHANDOCK* FILLED UP BY +40%
TRULLI/CHANDOCK* FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 40%

WEBBER'S LOW-LEVEL BITCHING ABOUT TEAM ORDERS
DRIVER: WEBBER FILLED UP BY +20%
WEBBER FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 40%

WILLIAMS ARE BEING SUED BY A DISGRUNTLED NASCAR TEAM
CONSTRUCTOR: WILLIAMS FILLED UP BY +40%
WILLIAMS FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 80%

Fool Tank points do not count towards Booster Button multiplications nor Instant Cash Bribe wins.

* The Fool Tank filling is really for Trulli, but for the purposes of League points they are now considered one and the same person. Looks a little odd, I know.

RACE RESULTS: HUNGARY

2011-08-05T22:02:00.001+01:00

A well-played Booster Button send ALL4COFFEE screaming eight places up the Loserboard in Hungary.

Meanwhile, formula one returnee Jarno Trulli scored the most points of the season when a water leak put paid to his race just a few laps before Heidfeld's Renault retired in alarming fashion (see picture). Trulli's 25 points for Lotus Renault helped Losers team F-1 oust FISHERS R GO from third place in the 2011 standings.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

The Shakedown season is now open. You can swap two of your drivers for any two other drivers, as long as they are a similarly lettered Group in the Groupings and driver names here. You can click here for more on that.

And don't forget to play one of four active Pitlane Punts.

Hungary: race result

Trulli, Jarno	Lotus Renault	25	Water leak
Heidfeld, Nick	Renault	18	Fire
Schumacher, Michael	Mercedes	15	Gearbox
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus Renault	12	Water leak
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	10	Fin. 5 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	8	Fin. 5 laps down
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	6	Fin. 4 laps down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	4	Fin. 4 laps down
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	2	Fin. 2 laps down
Perez, Sergio	Sauber	1	Fin. 2 laps down

Hungary: F1 Losers points

1st	ALL 4COFFEE	110	Booster
2nd	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	59
3rd	TEAM FAILSCADE	54
4th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	44
5th	F -1	42
5th	TRULLI PANTS	42
7th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	41
7th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	41
9th	DNF	40
10th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	38
11th	TEAM SAUCE	37
11th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	37
13th	FISHERS R GO	28
13th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	28
13th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	28
13th	VROOM DOOM	28
17th	TEAM LEVIATHON	27
17th	FAST AS CUSTARD	27
19th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	26
19th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	26
19th	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	26
22nd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	25

DRIVER SHAKEDOWN NOW OPEN CLOSED

2011-08-05T22:01:00.002+01:00

The Shakedown season is now closed.

D'AMBROSIO'S BRILLIANT PARALLEL PARKING (NEW UPDATE)

2011-07-31T22:42:00.007+01:00

MOTORMOUTH: CUTE AS A BUTTON

2011-07-31T11:26:00.000+01:00

FRANK WILLIAMS

At Jenson Button's 200th race celebrations:

"Jenson joined us in late 1999. In those days he was very good looking..."

MOTORMOUTH: LEARNING GERMAN

2011-07-31T10:47:00.000+01:00

DAVID COULTHARD

David Coulthard: "Das ist fantastisch."

Sebastien Vettel; "Even the girls speak better when they speak German."

David Coulthard: "...To be honest, I only learned my German by watching DVDs when I was younger."

THE BELGIAN ACCUMULATOR

2011-07-30T08:43:00.005+01:00

The set-up: This punt has now closed.

The punt: This is the Belgium Accumulator. There are three levels of betting, with increasingly generous pay-offs.

Level 1: Bet that Mark Webber will finish 2nd, 3rd or 4th in Belgium. The stake is 20 points and the odds are 3 to 2.

Level 2: Bet that Mark Webber will finish 2nd, 3rd or 4th in Belgium *and* that Michael Schumacher will finish 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th or 10th. Both results need to happen. The stake is 15 points and the odds are 4 to 1.

Level 3: Bet that Mark Webber will finish 2nd, 3rd or 4th in Belgium *and* that Michael Schumacher will finish 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th or 10th *and* that Felipe Massa will finish 5th or 6th. All three results need to happen. The stake is 15 points and the odds are 10 to 1.

The stake will be taken from your score at the Belgian grand prix. The winnings, if successful, will be given back at that race along with your stake.

By 'finish', we mean the official FIA classification taking into account any post-race penalties or rulings.

Play this punt: Which Level will you play? Send an email to league (at) f1losers.co.uk titled THE BELGIAN ACCUMULATOR with the Level you are playing at (1, 2 or 3) and with your team name. Once played, you cannot undo it. The Punt must be played before Belgian qualifying.

Played by: No-one yet.

THE YOU-MUST-BE-WOKING PUNT

2011-07-29T07:08:00.002+01:00

The set-up: This punt has now closed. (This would have been successful and would have earned you 140 points!)

The punt:A McLaren will retire in either the Belgium or Italian grand prix (taking place in August and September respectively).

The stake: 20 points, to be taken from your score at the next race.

The odds: 7 to 1, to be given back along with your stake.

Play this punt: Send an email to league (at) f1losers.co.uk titled THE YOU-MUST-BE-WOKING PUNT with your team name. Once played, you cannot undo it. The Punt cannot be played after this event has happened or after the race starts on September 11th, whichever comes first. Odds may change after forthcoming grands prix.

Played by: No-one yet.

THE JARNO-IT'S-OVER PUNT

2011-07-29T06:58:00.005+01:00

The set-up: This punt has now closed.

The punt: Lotus or Jarno will reveal some time in August that Jarno Trulli will not be a Sunday race driver for Lotus in 2012.

The stake: 25 points, to be taken from your score at the next race.

The odds: 5 to 1, to be given back along with your stake.

Play this punt: Send an email to league (at) f1losers.co.uk titled THE JARNO-IT'S-OVER PUNT with your team name. Once played, you cannot undo it. The Punt cannot be played after this event has happened or after August 31st, whichever comes first. Odds will change as the month goes on.

Played by: No-one yet.

RACE RESULTS: GERMANY

2011-07-28T18:40:00.000+01:00

Nick Heidfeld more than tripled his 2011 losers points when he tried to use a Toro Rosso as a launch pad in Germany.

And in an increasingly disastrous season, Jenson Button posted his worst league result of the season when he posted his second retirement in two races.

GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO tops this race's points, along with FISHERS R GO who now find themselves in third place in the 2011 standings. Teams who had been scoring points with hapless Italian Jarno Trulli scored points with his replacement Karun Chandock in Germany. Trulli's average race score is 6.67. Chandock scored 10 points at the Nurburgring. The League welcomes Chandock.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

Now here's the big news. The driver Shakedown season is approaching. In August, you can change any two of your drivers. You can only each driver for a driver in the same Group - see the Groupings and driver names here. More details on August 1st.

Germany: race result

Heidfeld, Nick	Renault	25	Accident
Barrichello, Rubens	Williams	18	Oil leak
Button, Jenson	McLaren	15	Hydraulics
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	12	Electrics
Chandock (repl. Trulli)	Lotus Renault	10	Fin. 4 laps down
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	8	Fin. 3 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	6	Fin. 3 laps down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	4	Fin. 3 laps down
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus Renault	2	Fin. 2 laps down
Buemi, Sebastien	Toro Rosso	1	Fin.1 lap down

Germany: F1 Losers points

1st	FISHERS R GO	68
1st	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	68
3rd	BRUNDELL FLYERS	67
4th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	58
5th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	56
6th	F -1	54
6th	ALL 4COFFEE	54
8th	TRULLI PANTS	53
9th	DNF	49
10th	VROOM DOOM	47
10th	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	47
12th	TEAM LEVIATHON	46
12th	FAST AS CUSTARD	46
12th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	46
15th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	44
15th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	44
17th	TEAM FAILSCADE	27
18th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	26
19th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	24
19th	TEAM SAUCE	24
19th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	24
22nd	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	12

RACE RESULTS: BRITAIN

2011-07-14T06:49:00.000+01:00

Kamui Kobayashi's first ever race points helped VROOM DOOM to the spoils at the British grand prix. moving them two places up the League.

Sebastien Buemi and Jenson Button also scored their first losers points of the season, the latter losing a wheel nut at a pitstop. At the other end of the Losersboard, RICHY NIGHTINGALE'S F1 WINNERS managed the incredible feat of earning only 2 points in a grand prix. They carried the spirit of British sport into their national grand prix.

All unused Booster Buttons were activated in Britain. Every team now has a third Booster Button any time before the night race in Singapore in September. Just email the League and your points will be doubled at the following grand prix (do it carefully: you cannot undo a Booster Button).;

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here (note, JOHNNY LIGHTNING have moved up three places and BRUNDELL FLYERS two).

Britain: race result

Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus Renault	25	Ret. Gearbox
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus Renault	18	Ret. Oil leak
Kobayashi, Kamui	Sauber	15	Ret. Oil leak
Buemi, Sebastien	Toro Rosso	12	Ret. Accident damage
Button, Jenson	McLaren	10	Ret. Wheel nut
Ricciardo, Daniel	Hispania	8	Fin. 3 laps down
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	6	Fin. 2 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	4	Fin. 2 laps down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	2	Fin. 2 laps down
di Resta, Paul	Force India	1	Fin. 1 lap down

Britain: F1 Losers points

Bb = played their Booster Button (doubled points)

1st	VROOM DOOM	90	Bb
2nd	BRUNDELL FLYERS	80	Bb
3rd	ALL 4COFFEE	68	Bb
4th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	66	Bb
4th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	66	Bb
4th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	66	Bb
7th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	62	Bb
7th	DNF	62	Bb
9th	TEAM FAILSCADE	60	Bb
10th	TRULLI PANTS	46	Bb
11th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	44	Bb
12th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	42	Bb
13th	FISHERS R GO	40	Bb
13th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	40	Bb
15th	F -1	34
15th	TEAM SAUCE	34	Bb
17th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	32	Bb
17th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	32
19th	TEAM LEVIATHON	22
19th	FAST AS CUSTARD	22
21st	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	21
22nd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	2

THE LEAGUE (KIND OF) WELCOMES RICCIARDO

2011-07-08T22:09:00.003+01:00

Daniel Ricciardo will replace Narain Karthikeyan for this weekend's British grand prix.

Teams that have Karthikeyan will score points with Ricciardo instead. Straight swap.

Karthikeyan is the League's highest scoring driver: his 118 points make him the only centenian driver in this competition at the time of writing. If Ricciardo is an improvement, this could be devastating for a number of Losers teams...

RACE RESULTS: EUROPE

2011-06-30T19:19:00.001+01:00

You may have been bored by the lack of on-track thrills, but the League was gripped by the European grand prix.

It was a delightful parade of League favourites trundling around the circuit slowly: Karthikeyan, Liuzzi, the Virgins, the Lotus Renaults.A number of Pitlane Punts ground to a half too, with FAST AS CUSTARD betting on the results of Hispania practice times (they got it wrong), and DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL and TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY betting on Vettel not winning in Europe (they got it wrong). They all lost points on their gambling.

TEAM LEVIATHON not only played their Booster Button in Europe, but they played it in a race in which they earned 43 Losers points from Hispania trailing across the line in last place. This gave them something like the 5th highest League score of the season and sees them hurtled into the lead of this year's championship.

F-1 have moved up to fourth in the standings, while DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL resume their position at the bottom of the loserboard. At the last race, Ferrari became the biggest scorer in their Group. Williams have now reclaimed that position thanks to Maldonado falling down the order in Valencia.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

Europe: race result

Karthikeyan, Narain	Hispania	25	Fin. 3 laps down
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	18	Fin. 3 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	15	Fin. 2 laps down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	12	Fin. 2 laps down
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus Renault	10	Fin. 2 laps down
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus Renault	8	Fin. 2 laps down
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	6	Fin. 1 lap down
Schumacher, Michael	Mercedes	4	Fin. 1 lap down
Kobayashi, Kamui	Sauber	2	Fin. 1 lap down
Petrov, Vitaly	Renault	1	Fin. 1 lap down

Europe: F1 Losers points
Pp- = Includes a stake paid out into a Pitlane Punt
BB - Includes Booster Button played (points doubled)

1st	TEAM LEVIATHON	160	BB
2nd	TRABANT-COSWORTH	80
3rd	F -1	75
3rd	TRULLI PANTS	75
5th	ALL 4COFFEE	73
6th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	72
7th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	70
8th	VROOM DOOM	69
9th	FISHERS R GO	67
9th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	67
9th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	67
9th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	67
13th	TEAM FAILSCADE	66
14th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	65
14th	TEAM SAUCE	65
14th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	65
17th	DNF	64
18th	FAST AS CUSTARD	55	Pp-
18th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	49
20th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	46	Pp-
21st	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	25
22nd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	19

If I said you had a delayed league result, would you hold it against me?

2011-06-30T17:04:00.000+01:00

Well, would you? This is just a weak way of saying I'm busy seeing Bjork tonight so the League update will not appear today. Watch this space!

RACE RESULTS: CANADA

2011-06-16T07:05:00.003+01:00

VROOM DOOM got an Instant Cash Prize in Canada for scoring the most points in an otherwise pathetically unLosery race.

All the points follow. See how this has affected the standings here.

Canada: race result

Hamilton, Lewis	McLaren	25	Accident
Kovalainan, Heikki	Lotus	18	Driveshaft
Alonso, Fernando	Ferrari	15	Accident
Sutil, Adrian	Force India	12	Accident
Heidfeld, Nick	Renault	10	Accident
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	8	Spun off
di Resta,Paul	Force India	6	Accident
Karthikeyan, Narain	Hispania	4	Fin. 1 lap down
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus	2	Fin. 1 lap down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	1	Fin. 1 lap down

Canada: F1 Losers Points

1st	VROOM DOOM	37
2nd	TRABANT-COSWORTH	36
3rd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	34
4th	TRULLI PANTS	32
5th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	29
6th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	27
7th	F -1	26
8th	TEAM LEVIATHON	24
8th	FAST AS CUSTARD	24
10th	DNF	23
11th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	22
12th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	20
13th	TEAM SAUCE	19
13th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	19
15th	ALL 4COFFEE	18
15th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	18
17th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	13
17th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	13
19th	FISHERS R GO	12
19th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	12
21st	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	5	PP-
22nd	TEAM FAILSCADE	4

PP-= paid out points into a Pitlane Punt

BAHRAIN AND INDIA: A NEW ANNOUNCEMENT

2011-06-12T15:11:00.000+01:00

Basically, this:

PEDRO DE LA ROSA: AN ANNOUNCEMENT

2011-06-12T15:06:00.000+01:00

Pedra de la Rosa has replaced Perez for this weekend's Canadian grand prix.

Because he is a direct replacement, if you have Perez on your team, you will earn de la Rosa's losers points as a replacement. In effect, nothing changes.

Although the league's Fool Tank committee has been informed of Perez's failure to be well enough to race...

FOOL TANKS: BUEMI, HAMILTON

2011-06-05T08:35:00.003+01:00

Lewis Hamilton has earned 25 points after his recent "is it coz I is black" comments. We have filled his Fool Tank with lovely white, er, black Losers oil.

His points haul will be reflected in the League standings following the Canada update.

Meanwhile, Sebastien Buemi's impressive clash with a fan earns him his first appearance in the Fool Tanks section.

Remember, Fool Tanks don't convert into valuable Losers points until they overflow. See how that works here. See all Fool Tanks here.

HAMILTON'S MINOR RACE ROW'S ALI G COMMENTS IN MONACO HAD THE MEDIA IN A FRENZY
DRIVER: HAMILTON FILLED UP BY +40%
HAMILTON FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 100%
CONVERTED INTO 25 FOOL TANK POINTS
LEWIS HAMILTON FOOL TANK RE-SET TO 0%

BUEMI RUNNING OVER A FAN, ALTHOUGH IT WASN'T HIS FAULT
DRIVER: BUEMI FILLED UP BY +40%
BUEMI FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 80%

Fool Tank points do not count towards Booster Button multiplications nor Instant Cash Bribe wins.

BAHRAIN AND INDIA: AN ANNOUNCEMENT

2011-06-04T14:20:00.001+01:00

Edit: See this new announcement here.

~~Bahrain has rejoined the F1 calendar. This now bumps India to a December race for the season finale.~~

~~This mean the League now finishes on December 15th. But that's not all...~~

~~The League can announce that India will now be treated as a special race in which all points will be doubled. The previous season-ender of Brazil will remain as the final Booster Button race.~~

~~To see the changes, scroll down the League calendar.~~

RACE RESULTS: MONACO

2011-06-02T07:04:00.002+01:00

TEAM LEVIATHON scored the most points in Monaco after negotiating a tricky Pitlane Punt in which he predicted six non-finishers.

Team Leviathon were lucky because although Maldonado didn't make it to the end, he was classified and didn't count towards the strict wording of the punt. Why not play a Punt for your team now? You never know what points you might gain. Or lose.

A number of teams played their Booster Button - League straggler DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL gained more than most out of this after a non-starting Sauber helped them to their biggest points haul of the season.

Some teams would have gained from Fool Tank points this week. They aren't shown in the Monaco points, but the points are included in the Standings and on the spreadsheet you will receive via email.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

Monaco: race result

Perez, Sergio	Sauber	25	DNS
Glock, Timo	Virgin	18	Ret. Suspension
Schumacher, Michael	Mercedes	15	Ret. Fire
Massa, Felipe	Ferrari	12	Ret. Accident
Alguersuari, Jaime	Toro Rosso	10	Ret. Accident
Petrov, Vitaly	Lotus Renault	8	Ret. Accident
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	6	Class. Accident
Karthikeyan, Narain	Hispania	4	Fin. 4 laps down
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	2	Fin. 3 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	1	Fin. 3 laps down

Monaco: F1 Losers points
Pp+ = Includes a successfully punted Pitlane Punt
Bb = played their Booster Button (doubled points)

1st	TEAM LEVIATHON	123	Pp+
2nd	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	120	Bb
3rd	FAST AS CUSTARD	118	Bb
4th	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	114	Bb
5th	F -1	72	Bb
6th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	70
7th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	62	Bb
8th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	59
9th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	57
10th	TEAM FAILSCADE	49
11th	TEAM SAUCE	45
12th	DNF	38
13th	FISHERS R GO	36
14th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	34
15th	ALL 4COFFEE	33
16th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	28
17th	TRULLI PANTS	24
18th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	21
18th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	21
20th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	19
21st	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	14
21st	VROOM DOOM	14

CONGRATULATIONS TO DAN WHELDON: AN INDY 500 FINISH TO MAKE THE LEAGUE PROUD

2011-05-30T22:02:00.000+01:00

THE 'UNSUBTLE SUTIL IN BUBBLY TROUBLE' PUNT

2011-05-29T08:15:00.000+01:00

The set-up: Adrian Sutil has been accused of glassing a Renault boss with a champagne flute. Sutil has vowed to defend his name should legal proceedings go ahead.

The punt: Bet on Adrian Sutil being found guilty of physical assault and/or grievous bodily harm in a civil or criminal court case before the season ends on November 27th 2011.

The stake: 10 points, to be taken from your score at the next race. The stake is subject to change without notice.

New odds: 12 to 1, to be given back along with your stake at the grand prix following conviction. The odds are subject to change without notice.

Play this punt: Send an email to league (at) f1losers.co.uk titled UNSUBTLE SUTIL IN BUBBLY TROUBLE with your team name. The stake and odds are subject to change, so check this page before you send the email. A punt cannot be withdrawn retrospectively. Deadline for this punt is 11.59pm on November 25th.

Played by: No-one yet.

THE 'LA PRÁCTICA HACE AL MAESTRO' PUNT

2011-05-29T08:04:00.002+01:00

The set-up: This punt has closed.

The punt: Bet on the exact number of official European grand prix practice sessions (one, two or three) in which Hispania register a car in 22nd place according to the FIA's official classifications.

The stake: 25 points, to be taken from your score at the next race.

The odds: 3 to 1, to be given back along with your stake at the European grand prix.

Play this punt: Send an email to league (at) f1losers.co.uk titled LA PRÁCTICA HACE AL MAESTRO with your team name and how many sessions (one, two or three). This punt has closed.

Played by: Fast As Custard

THE 'VETTEL BE THE DAY' PUNT

2011-05-29T07:49:00.006+01:00

The set-up: This punt has now closed.

The punt: Bet on Seb Vettel not winning in Europe on June 26th this year.

The stake: 20 points, to be taken from your score at the next race.

The odds: 4 to 1, to be given back along with your stake at the Eurpean grand prix.

Play this punt: This punt has now closed.

Played by: DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL. TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY.

FOOL TANKS: FERRARI, LOTUS RENAULT, MCLAREN, WILLIAMS, ALGUERSUARI, BUTTON, D'AMBROSIO, HAMILTON, PEREZ, SUTIL, WEBBER

2011-05-29T06:47:00.005+01:00

The hapless Ferrari team and unlucky Sergio Perez are the first two to get their Fool Tanks converted into points. Both have had disaster after disaster.

They're not the only ones in the League's sights. In no particular order, here are some well-overdue Fool Tank fills.

Remember, Fool Tanks don't convert into valuable Losers points until they overflow. See how that works here. See all Fool Tanks here.

SAM MICHAEL AND JON TOMLINSON RESIGNING
CONSTRUCTOR: WILLIAMS FILLED UP BY +40%
WILLIAMS FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 40%

TEAM BOSS RULING KUBICA OUT FOR REST OF SEASON (NO GREAT SURPRISE)
CONSTRUCTOR: LOTUS RENAULT FILLED UP BY +20%
LOTUS RENAULT FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 20%

LEWIS HAMILTON SLAMMING HIS TEAM'S QUALIFYING STRATEGY
CONSTRUCTOR: MCLAREN FILLED UP BY +20%
MCLAREN FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 60%

SERGIO PEREZ EXCLUDED FROM RACING AFTER SLIDING HIS CAR INTO A BARRIER IN MONACO QUALIFYING
DRIVER: SERGIO PEREZ FILLED UP BY +60%
SERGIO PEREZ FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 100%
CONVERTED INTO 25 FOOL TANK POINTS
SERGIO PEREZ FOOL TANK RE-SET TO 0%

IDLE SPECULATION ABOUT D'AMBROSIO'S FUTURE
DRIVER: JEROME D'AMBROSIO FILLED UP BY +20%
JEROME D'AMBROSIO FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 20%

REPRIMANDS IN SPANISH GRAND PRIX FOR SPEEDING UNDER YELLOWS
DRIVER: LEWIS HAMILTON FILLED UP BY +20%
LEWIS HAMILTON FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 60%

REPRIMANDS IN SPANISH GRAND PRIX FOR SPEEDING UNDER YELLOWS
DRIVER: JENSON BUTTON FILLED UP BY +20%
JENSON BUTTON FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 20%

REPRIMANDS IN SPANISH GRAND PRIX FOR SPEEDING UNDER YELLOWS
DRIVER: MARK WEBBER FILLED UP BY +20%
MARK WEBBER FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 20%

REPRIMANDS IN SPANISH GRAND PRIX FOR SPEEDING UNDER YELLOWS
DRIVER: JAIME ALGUERSUARI FILLED UP BY +20%
JAIME ALGUERSUARI FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 20%

CLAIM AGAINST SUTIL FOR GREVIOUS BODILY HARM. NO REALLY

DRIVER: ADRIAN SUTIL FILLED UP BY +40%
ADRIAN SUTIL FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 40%

OFFICIAL INVESTIGATION INTO FERRARI'S DODGY WING

CONSTRUCTOR: FERRARI FILLED UP BY +40%
FERRARI FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 80%

FERRARI GIVING THEIR TECH BOSS THE HEAVE HO AFTER A DISAPPOINTING START TO THE SEASON

CONSTRUCTOR: FERRARI FILLED UP BY +40%
FERRARI FOOL TANK SEASON TOTAL 120%
CONVERTED INTO 50 FOOL TANK POINTS
FERRARI FOOL TANK RE-SET TO 20%

Fool Tank points do not count towards Booster Button multiplications nor Instant Cash Bribe wins.

SERGIO PEREZ AND SAUBER

2011-05-28T20:15:00.000+01:00

The League wishes Sergio Perez all the best in his recovery after today's nasty qualifying crash.

If he is not replaced in Monaco tomorrow, he and Sauber will score a DNS (Did Not Start) and will earn 25 points - but only assuming (a) Perez is not replaced by another driver on the day and (b) the troubled Hispanias do actually race.

Got Perez or Sauber? Fancy playing your Booster Button?...

RACE RESULT: SPAIN

2011-05-26T15:34:00.004+01:00

FAST AS CUSTARD glooped into the lead of the F1 Losers League after gambling in a Pitlane Punt that Alonso, quite rightly, would not make it to the podium in Spain.

It was also a great race for FISHERS R GO, who benefited from Ferrari's Felipe Massa grinding to a halt in a gearbox failure the Brazilian called "a fitting end to a terrible weekend”. If Fishers R Go had played the same Pitlane Punt, they would also have won 30 points and therefore got the most points in Spain.

All teams have a second Booster Button, which they can play at any race until (and including) Britain in July. Just send an email headed Booster Button with your team name to league (at) f1losers.co.uk.

Expect some new Pitlane Punts in the next few days, along with some much overdue Fool Tank glugging.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

Spain: race result

Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	25	Ret. Gearbox
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus Renault	18	Ret. Accident
Massa, Felipe	Ferrari	15	Ret. Gearbox
Karthikeyan, Narain	Hispania	12	Fin. 5 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	10	Fin. 4 laps down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	8	Fin. 3 laps down
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus Renault	6	Fin. 2 laps down
Barrichello, Rubens	Williams	4	Fin. 2 laps down
Alguersuari, Jaime	Toro Rosso	2	Fin. 2 laps down
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	1	Fin. 1 lap down

Spain: F1 Losers points
PP = Includes a successfully punted Pitlane Punt

1st	FAST AS CUSTARD	100	PP
2nd	FISHERS R GO	88
3rd	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	71
4th	TEAM LEVIATHON	70
4th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	70
6th	F -1	65
7th	VROOM DOOM	63
7th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	62
9th	TEAM FAILSCADE	62
10th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	61
10th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	53
12th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	52
12th	TRULLI PANTS	50
12th	ALL 4COFFEE	49
12th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	48
16th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	48
16th	TEAM SAUCE	46
18th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	46
19th	DNF	46
20th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	29
21st	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	27
22nd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	13

RACE RESULT: TURKEY

2011-05-14T19:27:00.027+01:00

Di Resta and Glock gobbled up Losers points in Turkey, giving TEAM SAUCE the most points (148) in a race in which most teams had their Booster Buttons automatically triggered.

Timo Glock failed to start the race, leading him to call for changes within his team, although if he knew his failure brought him and his Virgin team 25 glorious losers points, he may be thinking differently. Meanwhile, Paul di Resta scored his first non-finish of the season and showed up on the League's radar for the first time in 2011.

The top ten highest scoring Loser teams in Turkey all scored their best result so far as a result of the League triggering all un-activated Booster Buttons. It lead to some remarkable results, with one team (TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY) bagging more than nine times as many points as they did in Malaysia a month ago.

All Booster Buttons are now reset. Each team can choose to play their second Booster Button at any time. Just send an email titled 'Booster Button' with your team name to league (at) f1losers.co.uk, and your points will be doubled* at the next race.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

* basic race points only. You cannot double Pitlane Punt winnings.

Turkey: race result

Glock, Timo	Virgin	25	DNS (Gearbox)
di Resta, Paul	Force India	18	Ret.
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	15	Fin. 5 laps down
Karthikeyan, Narain	Hispania	12	Fin. 3 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	10	Fin. 2 laps down
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus Renault	8	Fin. 1 lap down
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus Renault	6	Fin. 1 lap down
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	4	Fin. 1 lap down
Alguersuari, Jaime	Toro Rosso	2	Fin. 1 lap down
Barrichello, Rubens	Williams	1	Fin. 1 lap down

Turkey: F1 Losers points
B = Booster Button automatically played. PP = Pitlane Punt stake deducted.

1st	TEAM SAUCE	148	B
2nd	TRULLI PANTS	122	B
3rd	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	112	B
3rd	DNF	112	B
3rd	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	112	B
6th	FISHERS R GO	100	B
7th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	98	B
8th	VROOM DOOM	92	B
9th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	84	B
9th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	84	B
11th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	82	B
12th	ALL 4COFFEE	78	B
13th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	66
14th	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	60	B
15th	TEAM LEVIATHON	48
15th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	48
17th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	46
18th	F -1	43
19th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	41
20th	FAST AS CUSTARD	40	PP
21st	TEAM FAILSCADE	37
22nd	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	34	B

TURKEY RESULTS PREDICTABLY DELAYED...

2011-05-12T17:31:00.000+01:00

... because I'm fannying about at FutureEverything and it's taking up all of my time. I realise this is no good at all, but if you pay greasemonkeys, you get a spanner. Or something.

Results up soon!

RACE RESULT: CHINA

2011-04-22T08:22:00.001+01:00

JOHNNY LIGHTNING played their Booster Button to score most points in China, while a wise Shakedown to Hispania made TEAM FAILSCADE the biggest non-Boosting team.

The China grand prix was exciting on-screen but was very dull for the League. The cars showed reliability, with only one non-finisher when Toro Rosso's Alguesuari decided to do without a wheel. Otherwise, it was a strong showing by losers favourite Hispania and their poor drivers Karthikeyan and Liuzzi.

League stragglers RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS trailed in last, partly due to a poor League showing by Williams, but TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY remain last in the League standings. Meanwhile, at the losery end of the competition (that's the good end, remember), FAST AS CUSTARD and TEAM LEVIATHON remained locked in the lead with their remarkably similar teams.

The most tragic element of this grand prix is that we can't award points for Button driving into the Red Bull pits by mistake because (a) it didn't affect the result and (b) it happened on-track, so no Fool Tank filling either.

A number of teams played Pitlane Punts, which bet points on Perez ending up low down in the field or two teams not qualifying. Neither happened, and so no-one gets extra points. There are new Pitlane Punts that hopefully will reap more for you: click here to see them.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

Remember, the Shakedown season is open for another week. This is essential if you want to get more points.

China: race result

Alguersuari, Jaime	Toro Rosso	25	Ret. Wheel fell off
Karthikeyan, Narain	Hispania	18	Fin. 2 laps down
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	15	Fin. 2 laps down
Glock, Timo	Virgin	12	Fin. 2 laps down
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Virgin	10	Fin. 2 laps down
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus Renault	8	Fin. 1 lap down
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	6	Fin. 1 lap down
Perez, Sergio	Sauber	4	Fin. 1 lap down
Kovalainen, Heikki	Lotus Renault	2	Fin. 1 lap down
Sutil, Adrian	Force India	1	Fin. 1 lap down

China: F1 Losers points
B = Booster Button played

1st	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	110	B
2nd	TEAM FAILSCADE	86	B
3rd	FISHERS R GO	79
4th	FAST AS CUSTARD	67
4th	TEAM LEVIATHON	67
6th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	64
7th	F -1	57
7th	TRULLI PANTS	57
9th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	55
10th	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	54
10th	VROOM DOOM	54
12th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	51
12th	ALL 4COFFEE	51
12th	DNF	51
12th	TEAM SAUCE	51
16th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	49
16th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	49
18th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	49
19th	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	48
20th	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	44
21st	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	42
22nd	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	22

THE MONACO PUNT

2011-04-22T08:21:00.004+01:00

The set-up: This punt is now closed.

The punt: Bet on the exact number of non-finishers at this year's Monaco race (including non-qualifiers). If you get it right, you get points. Strict F1 classification applies, so do remember a late very retirement is often classified as a finisher.

The stake: 8 points, to be taken from your score at the next race.

The odds: 8 to 1, to be given back along with your stake at the Monaco grand prix.

Play this punt: Email league headed THE MONACO PUNT to (at) f1losers.co.uk, along with your team name and how many cars you think won't finish. Deadline for this punt is 11.59pm on May 27th.

Won by: TEAM LEVIATHON ( 6 finishers, including Perez (DNS) but not including Maldonado (classified).

THE AND-DIDN'T-THOSE-FEET PUNT

2011-04-22T08:10:00.004+01:00

The set-up: This punt has now closed.

The punt: Bet on Fernando Alonso failing to get a podium in front of his home-fans at the Spanish grand prix on May 22nd. All we need to see is those feet not touching the podium step and the punt is yours.

The stake: 10 points, to be taken from your score at the next race.

The odds: 3 to 1, to be given back along with your stake at the Spain grand prix.

Play this punt: This punt has now closed.

Won by: Fast As Custard

CHINA UPDATE DELAYED...

2011-04-21T18:00:00.000+01:00

...due to massive socialising. Hopefully tonight, but more likely tomorrow morning. Pitlane Punters, you will have to wait a little longer for your results.

RACE RESULT: MALAYSIA

2011-04-14T21:35:00.001+01:00

FAST AS CUSTARD and TEAM LEVIATHON (238 points each) smashed the grand prix in Malaysia and are joint winners of the season's first Instant Cash Bribe.

Williams had dreadful reliability problems in the race, including an early puncture for F1 veteran Rubens Barrichello. Both cars retired in the first half of the race, so any Losers Team with Rubino, Maldonado or Williams would have scored nicely.

Four teams played their Booster Buttons and had their points doubled (see the ones marked with a B below). But the only thing that mattered was the winner of our first Instant Cash Bribe, in which the highest-scoring Losers Team scooped 5% of the prize fund.

Booster Buttons do not count towards the Instant Cash Bribe, but booster-happy losers FAST AS CUSTARD and TEAM LEVIATHON would have grabbed the cash anyway, such was their massive loserdom in the Malaysian heat. They split the (roughly) £5 bribe, to be paid at the end of the season. At the other end of the scale, some teams paid out into Pitlane Punts, leaving DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL (22 points) as the true sucker of Sepang.

The penalty paid by Hamilton and Alonso for dodgy dealings on the track did not affect the result of this race, although they did get their Fool Tanks thoroughly squirted into.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

You can still gamble some of your points on Pitlane Punts - click here to see them. And the Shakedown season is open for another two weeks- this is essential if you want to get more points.

Malaysia: race result

Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	25	Ret. Engine
Karthikeyan, Narain	Hispania	18	Ret. Hydraulics
Barrichello, Rubens	Williams	15	Ret. Hydraulics
Perez, Sergio	Sauber	12	Ret. Accident
Trulli, Jarno	Lotus Renault	10	Ret. Clutch
d'Ambrosio, Jerome	Marussia Virgin	8	Ret. Accident
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	6	Ret. Rear Wing
Petrov, Vitaly	Renault	4	Ret. Accident
Glock, Timo	Marussia Virgin	2	Fin. 2 laps down
Kovalainen, Keikki	Lotus Renault	1	Fin. 1 lap down

Malaysia: F1 Losers points
B = Booster Button played
ICB = Instant Cash Bribe winner
PP = Paid out points into a Pitlane Punt

1st	FAST AS CUSTARD	238	B ICB
1st	TEAM LEVIATHON	238	B ICB
3rd	GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	170	B
4th	F -1	142	B
5th	JOHNNY LIGHTNING	97
6th	FISHERS R GO	85
7th	TRABANT-COSWORTH	71
7th	TRULLI PANTS	71
9th	TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	63
10th	BRUNDELL FLYERS	61
11th	THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	59
12th	RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	58
13th	HONEY ROASTED NUTS	57
14th	VROOM DOOM	55
14th	DNF	55
16th	TEAM SAUCE	51
17th	ALL 4COFFEE	46
18th	JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	40
19th	9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	26	PP
20th	DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	22
21st	TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	9	PP
22nd	TEAM FAILSCADE	7	PP

FOOL TANKS: FERRARI, MCLAREN, ALONSO, HAMILTON

2011-04-10T16:00:00.000+01:00

"McLaren's Lewis Hamilton and Ferrari's Fernando Alonso have had 20 seconds added to their race times by the Malaysian stewards following their clash during the Sepang event.." (See story.)

Silly boys. The League can hear a distinct sound of glugging in those Fool Tanks...

Remember, Fool Tanks don't convert into valuable Losers points until they overflow.

FOOL TANK

CONSTRUCTOR:

FERRARI

+40%

PENALTY FOR CLASHING IN RACE

FOOL TANK

CONSTRUCTOR:

MCLAREN

+40%

PENALTY FOR CLASHING IN RACE

FOOL TANK

DRIVER:

ALONSO

+40%

PENALTY FOR CLASHING IN RACE

FOOL TANK

DRIVER:

HAMILTON

+40%

PENALTY FOR CLASHING IN RACE

MOTORMOUTH: SHOWERS EXPECTED

2011-04-10T10:33:00.003+01:00

DAVID CROFT

A brilliant simile used by Radio 5 Live's Malaysian race commentator to describe a car that looked difficult to handle:

"...like a wet bar of soap although perhaps under more control than you'd have a wet bar of soap in the shower."

RACE RESULTS: AUSTRALIA

2011-03-31T04:53:00.005+01:00

TRABANT COSWORTH (166 points) took an early lead in the 2011 F1 Losers League thanks to all the points Hispania scooped in Australia.

Hispania and their two drivers Karthikeyan (pictured) and Liuzzi failed to set a qualifying time within 107% of the pole position time and so didn't race. Pastor Maldonado (Williams) was the first retirement, while the post-race disqualification of Sauber on a technicality gave them some valuable points too.

TRABANT COSWORTH played their Booster Button for Australia and so doubled their points tally (from 83 points to 166 points), as did BRUNDELL FLYERS (58 points doubled to 116). FAST AS CUSTARD and TEAM LEVIATHON scored strongly without the aid of a Booster Button (106 points each), with a pathetic showing at the other end of the field from RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS (12 points).

Booster Buttons automatically double a team's points at the race following activation. All teams get a Booster Button to activate at or before the Turkey grand prix in May (see F1 Losers Team Profiles). There will be four in all before the season's out.

Two final things: it seems a shame the Sauber chaps didn't earn more points from being disqualified, but there you go. They did, among others, get their Fool Tanks partially filled - click here to see the Fool Tanks.

All the points follow. If you are a League player, you will get these points as an Excel spreadsheet in the next 24 hours. See how this has affected the standings here.

You can now gamble some of your points on Pitlane Punts - click here to see them. And from tomorrow (April 1st), the Shakedown season begins. This is where you are given 30 days to swap one of your constructors. Watch this site for more.

Australia: race result

Karthikeyan, Narain	Hispania	25	DNQ
Liuzzi, Vitantonio	Hispania	18	DNQ
Maldonado, Pastor	Williams	15	Ret. Transmission
Schumacher, Michael	Mercedes Petronas	12	Ret. Puncture
Kovalainen, Heikki	Team Lotus	10	Ret. Water leak
Rosberg, Nico	Mercedes Petronas	8	Ret. Accident
Barrichello, Rubens	Williams	6	Ret. Transmission
Kobayashi, Kamui	Sauber	4	Disqualified
Perez, Sergio	Sauber	2	Disqualified
Glock, Timo	Marussia Virgin	1	Fin. 9 laps down

Australia: F1 Losers points

TRABANT-COSWORTH	166	Booster
BRUNDELL FLYERS	116	Booster
FAST AS CUSTARD	106
TEAM LEVIATHON	106
FISHERS R GO	88
9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS	83
F -1	83
JOHNNY LIGHTNING	83
ROB CUTFORTH'S TEAM	83
HONEY ROASTED NUTS	82
TEAM YOGIC FLYERS	81
ALL 4COFFEE	80
VROOM DOOM	80
TEAM SAUCE	79
GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO	67
DNF	63
JOBJOHN'S JOBIES	47
DO A BARRICHELLO ROLL	38
TEAM FAILSCADE	33
TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY	30
THE FLYING CUSTARD PIES	18
RICHY NIGHTINGALES F1 WINNERS	12

PITLANE PUNT: VITALY'S STATISTIC

2011-03-31T04:52:00.002+01:00

This punt has now closed.

The detail: Vitaly Petrov (Renault) did disgustingly well at the Australian grand prix: he finished in the top three and on his first podium. This is unacceptable League behaviour.

The punt: Bet on Vitaly Petrov finishing the race, but finishing in the bottom three, at the China grand prix on April 17th.

The stake: 35 points, to be taken from your score at the next race. (It doesn't matter if you have not got enough points already: you can go into minus figures.)

The odds: 7 to 1, to be given back along with your stake at the China grand prix.

The result: Petrov finished 9th, so this punt was lost.

PITLANE PUNT: THE GREAT FAIL OF CHINA

2011-03-31T04:50:00.008+01:00

This punt has now closed.

The detail: F1 has a 107% qualifying rule. If a driver's qualifying time is more than 107% of the pole position time, that driver fails to qualify for the race. In the first race of the season in Australia, Liuzzi (Hispania) and Karthikeyan (Hispania) failed to qualify.The punt: Bet on exactly two cars not qualifying, due to the 107% rule, at the China grand prix on April 17th.

The stake: 25 points, to be taken from your score at the next race.

The odds: 3 to 1, to be given back along with your stake at the China grand prix.

Result: All cars qualifiied so this punt was lost.

MOTORMOUTH: WHO YOU GONNA KOLL?

2011-03-29T12:25:00.002+01:00

COLIN KOLLES

"The team made a great effort. I must thank them for their hard work. They did a great job. I am very proud of them." Colin Kolles, team principal Hispania, March 25th 2011

"Hispania will not take part in the Australian GP after race stewards denied their request to be allowed to race due to 'exceptional circumstances'." News, March 26th 2011

FOOL TANKS: SAUBER, KOBAYASHI & PEREZ

2011-03-28T07:25:00.003+01:00

"Sauber's Sergio Perez and Kamui Kobayashi have lost their seventh and eighth places in Sunday's Australian Grand Prix after both were disqualified for technical infringements on their cars." (See story.)

Still, at least they were classified. Let's hope they don't lose their appeal, huh?... Let's fill some Fool Tanks up.

Remember, Fool Tanks don't convert into valuable Losers points until they overflow.

FOOL TANK
CONSTRUCTOR:
SAUBER

+40%

DISQUALIFIED FROM RACE

FOOL TANK

DRIVER:

KOBAYASHI

+40%

DISQUALIFIED FROM RACE

FOOL TANK
DRIVER:

PEREZ

+40%

DISQUALIFIED FROM RACE

YOU EXPECT PASTOR MALDONADO TO BE 2011'S BIGGEST LOSER

2011-03-27T08:34:00.005+01:00

A driver funded by the Venezuelen government will be the worst performer of 2011, you have decided.

Despite having many drivers to choose for your F1 Losers Teams, F1 rookie Pastor Maldonado (pictured) appears in 62% of teams for the 2011 season.

You were right so far: he was the first retirement in Australia and is set to 15 points when the League results are published this Thursday (the 25 and 18 will go to the two cars that didn't start).

Current GP2 champion Maldonado is supported by Hugo Chavez's state oil company. He takes his seat at Williams for this year after being linked to a number of other drives in 2010, mostly with teams that ended up not racing.

Incredibly, Mark Webber of the championship-winning Red Bull team is your second preferred driver, getting the backing of 38% of teams, followed by Felipe 'Crasha' Massa (not a real nickname) on 33% and Karthikeyan and Kobayashi on 29% each.

Hispania is the constructor with overwhelming support among Losers teams, appearing in 81% of line-ups for the 2011 League. In fairness to them, there were less constructors to choose from. Lotus Renault, not to be confused with, um, Lotus, enjoy the back-handed support of 48% of Losers entrants.

FOOL TANKS: HISPANIA, KARTHIKEYAN AND LIUZZI

2011-03-26T12:13:00.007Z

"Hispania will not take part in the Australian GP after race stewards denied their request to be allowed to race due to 'exceptional circumstances'." (See story.)

A disaster. Let's fill some Fool Tanks up.

Remember, Fool Tanks don't convert into valuable Losers points until they overflow.

FOOL TANK
CONSTRUCTOR:
HISPANIA

+60%

QUALY APPEAL REFUSED

FOOL TANK

DRIVER:

KARTHIKEYAN

+60%

QUALY APPEAL REFUSED

FOOL TANK
DRIVER:

LIUZZI

+60%

QUALY APPEAL REFUSED

ENTRIES ARE NOW CLOSED: INFO FOR ENTRANTS

2011-03-26T12:07:00.003Z

Entries are closed for 2011.

Here is a whole bunch of information that will prepare 2011's entrants for the season ahead...

Hello Loser,

Welcome to the 2011 F1 Losers League.

The League will send out regular email updates after each race. They will contain Excel attachments will all the team points along with news and reminders of upcoming League gubbins.

If you haven't paid, please do so as soon as possible. Also if you sent an entry without a team name, please email with a team name. Otherwise I'll give you a very dull name (which you can change at any point).

Here is a quick guide to what the heck happens now.

Scoring points

The League points are the same as real F1 points, but in reverse race order. So the first retirement gets the most points instead of the winner of the race. If this puzzles you, look at the classification table at the end of a race whilst standing on your head.

Each driver and constructor also gets a Fool Tank, which is filled every time they do something stupid off-track. If a Fuel Tank overflows, it converts into points. This is totally unscientific and down to the whim of the League overlords.

Points are usually published on the website around four days after the race. Read more here: http://f1losers.blogspot.com/p/how-to-score-points.html

Getting more points

You can wangle yourself some more Losers points in three main ways:

1. Activate a Booster Button. This doubles your points the race immediately following activation. Yes, you can activate it after a qualifying session for the following day's race.

- Your first Booster Button can be activated some time before the Turkish grand prix. If it's not activated by then, we'll automatically trigger it for you so you don't lose out.

- Your second Booster Button can be activated after Turkey and before Britain. If it's not activated by the British grand prix, we'll automatically trigger it for you so you don't lose out.

- Your third Booster Button can be activated after Britain and before Singapore. If it's not activated by the Singaporegrand prix, we'll automatically trigger it

- Your fourth Booster Button can be activated after Singapore and before Brazil. Again, if it's not activated by the Brazil grand prix, we'll do it for you.

Keep track of these dates on your team page (which will appear during Saturday) and on the site calendar:

2. Bet on a Pitlane Punt.

Gamble your F1 Losers Points on certain things happening during the season. The F1 Losers League will set the bets: you decide whether to risk taking a punt or not. Keep an eye on the site (or watch your emails) for more.

3. Shakedowns. Dump your drivers and constructors!

This is a biggie. From April 1st for one month only, you can swap one of your constructors. And then from August 1st for one month only, you can swap two of your drivers. If you don't make the swaps, you miss out.

We'll email to remind you... and you can also use the calendar as a reminder.
That's it!

What do you get?

The prize fund will be around £100 (depending on some last-minute payments and Paypal charges).

The team that gets the most points by the end of the season gets 40% of that fund. The two runners-up each get 20%.

The rest is split into Instant Cash Bribes: the teams that get the most Losers points in each of the Malaysia, Canada. Belgium and India races get 5% of the prize fund. And no, clever clogs, extra points gained from Booster Buttons or Pitlane Punts don't count towards tallying up who wins an Instant Cash Bribe.

Keep in touch

If you change your email, please let the League know. league (at) f1losers.co.uk.

Keep locked on to www.f1losers.co.uk because things are going to get VERY SILLY.

Thanks again for entering for 2011.

A PERSONAL APPEAL ON BEHALF OF FAT ROLAND

2011-03-25T13:15:00.000Z

"Hi. My name's Fat Roland. You may know me from the award winning blog Fat Roland On Maroon 5 and from such public performances as Fat Roland Does Shakespeare, Fat Roland Does Shakespeare Whilst Balancing Justin Biebpipe On His Ear and Fat Roland Tears Off His Skin Like Robbie Williams In That Video But Actually Just Ends Up In Hospital Looking Like A Pepperami That's Been Left In Brine For 37 Years.

The League needs another eight entries over the next few hours. They asked me to come up with some artwork, like a charity campaign, to encourage more people to enter. Like those adverts with the flies and the thin children. I can't think of a better cause to fight for than to encourage you, dear reader, to enter the 2011 F1 Losers League by 6am tomorrow morning.

And anyway, they're paying me £200.

Here's my artwork. Don't forget. Every time you don't enter the league, a leprechaun gets run over by a bus, its splattered innards devoured by wolves then spat out into a tower of dead leprechaun mince that is then sold as kebab meat at Burgaz Are Uz near that lighthouse on Anglesey. Enter now. Save the Welsh from regurgitated fantasy creature flesh.

TIME TO ENTER / PAY / DIE

2011-03-19T07:40:00.000Z

Entries to the League close at the start of qualifying in Melbourne in one week's time. The League will only go ahead with at least 20 fully paid-up entries before that time.

If you haven't yet entered, now is the time to do it. Use the links on the left.

If you have entered, but you haven't paid, now is the time to give us 5 of your hard-earned pounds. Send £5 through PayPal to league (at) f1losers.co.uk or email that address to sort your entry fee. Remember, all that money (less the tiny amount that PayPal skim) is given back to the teams at the end of the season - depending on how losery you are.

Please also tell your friends and F1-fan colleagues about the League. Give them the website address, www.f1losers.co.uk, or threaten to let their tyres down. Especially if they're an F1 driver.

YOU VOTE TO BRING BACK MINARDI

2011-03-15T11:30:00.000Z

You have voted in your, erm, ones to bring back Minardi, the formula one team that competed for twenty years before morphing into the championship-winning Red Bull.

Oh wait. It didn't become Red Bull. Even posthumously, all Minardi could manage was being
the second fiddle Toro Rosso, an eternal Irvine to the Schumacher, forever a Wise to the Morcambe, an endless Panda Cola to the Coke.

Still, you want them back. 50% voted in favour when an F1 Losers poll asked if Minardi should be brought back. 37.5% uncharitably voted for 'Who's Minardi', while a paltry 12.5% wanted them consigned to history.

There is a new poll open until the end of the month (scroll to the bottom of the page). Who actually owns the much-disputed Lotus name? A High Court trial should decide the final Lotus name on March 21st - but the only decision that counts is the F1 Losers community. Vote now!

HERE ARE THE ENTRIES SO FAR

2011-03-15T07:04:00.002Z

Thank you to everyone who has entered the F1 Losers League so far. The aim is to get a minimum of 20 entries (which guarantees a prize pot of £100 less the usual Paypal charges).

Here are the eight teams that have submitted entries so far. Do join them - see how to enter
in the links on the left.

9/10TH FULL OF BOLTS
F -1
FISHERS R GO
GRANDO SUPREMO MUCHO
JOHNNY LIGHTNING
TEAM YOGIC FLYERS
TURBO FERRET COLOSTOMY
VROOM DOOM

Your deadline is in 11 days time!

TEN REASONS TO TAKE PART IN THE F1 LOSERS LEAGUE

2011-03-12T14:32:00.001Z

1. The ghost of the Minardi formula one team hangs heavily over the Losers League, and if you don't enter, the ghost will punch your face in with its cloudy white fists.

2. It's not a fantasy league. It's a nightmare league. Therefore, it is cooler.

3. You may be only one of about 20 entrants. This makes our club more exclusive than MENSA.

4. If you love F1, you'll enjoy the League. If you have a passing interest but have lost touch with it, it's a way of getting back into the sport. If you love football but hate F1, I have a fisty ghost waiting for you.

5. It's quite simple. Choose your drivers, choose your constructors, email them with your team name, then pay £5.

6. The front of the grid is boring. We'd much rather be alongside the cars that are so slow, you can walk along with them.

7. It's run by a real person (me, me, me) so you've got a real proper human being to banter with / leave comments with throughout the season.

8. I'm trapped in Max's dungeon and if I don't get people to enter, he'll being out the whips. And I don't mean pushy parliamentarians.

9. There is no number 9. It crashed out on the first corner, thereby gaining 25 Losers Points.

10. If you don't enter, you'll miss the deadline of March 26th (just two weeks away!). Remember to allow enough time to enter and sort the payment. Go to it, losers!

OPENING BAHRAIN GP CANCELLED

2011-02-22T07:30:00.001Z

The start of the F1 Losers League will be delayed after the announcement that the opening race in Bahrain has been cancelled.

Although the race might be rescheduled, the grand prix at the Sakhir circuit has been
canned for now because of unrest within the country.

It means that the deadline for the new season will now be qualifying in Australia on March 26th. There may be further season changes if the Bahrain grand prix is later rescheduled.

Teams that have submitted existing entries are more than welcome to tweak their teams if they think this changes anything. See the calendar for the updated details.

ONE MONTH TO GO

2011-02-12T12:29:00.001Z

Entries for the 2011 Formula One Losers League close at the start of qualifying in ~~Bahrain~~ Australia on March ~~12th~~ 26th.

Here's what you need to do to enter. Choose four drivers and two constructors (one from
each of the six groups here), then follow the simple instructions on the How To Enter page.

Throughout the season, you'll score points (two different kinds: race points and Fool Tanks), but you can also fiddle about with your team. So look out for Booster Buttons, Pitlane Points and Shakedowns (all listed on the Maintenance page).

At the end of the season, the winner gets 40% of the prize fund, while the two runners-up will get 20%. Oh and four Instant Cash Prize winners will get 5% each.

It's a long season this year - just look at the calendar - but you're in good hands with the League. Or bad hands, being a Losers League.

Watch this space for more about Booster Buttons and the like. Meanwhile, get your entry in now!

ENTER NOW FOR THE 2011 LEAGUE

2011-02-02T07:08:00.001Z

Create your team of six, give your team a fantastic name, and then enter the 2011 F1 Losers League.

But wait: will you hold off until just before the deadline so you can gain as much information
as possible about this year's F1 contenders? Crikes, it's team tactics already. Yes, quite a few teams do that, but don't miss the deadline which is the exact moment the qualifying starts in ~~Bahrain~~ Australia on March ~~12th~~ 26th.

Also remember: no payment, no entry. Yes, Losers, there is money to be won.

Click here for how to enter for the 2011 F1 Losers League.

SHOW YOUR INTEREST IN THE 2011 LEAGUE

2011-01-29T12:21:00.000Z

The F1 Losers League is a fantasy league where you create the worst F1 team possible, get points for failure (slowness, crashes, scandal) and, if you get enough F1 Losers Points, win money.

It's a fiver to enter. It'll only go ahead if you're interested. If you want to take part, even just provisionally, email league [at] f1losers.co.uk... or leave a comment on this blog post.

FORMULA ONE LOSERS LEAGUE 2011

2011-01-29T10:36:00.003Z

This is just me faffing around with the blog. Please walk on. You didn't see anything.